Touch (A Denazen Novel, Book 1) Read online

“I can handle it,” I insisted. Truthfully though, I hadn’t thought about it that way. They would test me. Make me show them what I could do. How much could my body take before it broke?

  “What if I asked you not to go?” Kale said from the other side of the room. He was glaring at Alex.

  “It wouldn’t matter. This is what has to be done.” It’s not like this was what I wanted. It was the only choice. “Unless either of you can think of a better idea. If so, lemme have it.”

  Silence.

  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  Kale shook his head. “That place destroys most people.”

  It irritated me that neither one of them seemed to have any faith in me. “Then it’s a good thing I’m not most people.”

  15

  Bleary-eyed, I glanced at the clock again. Two a.m. I hadn’t specifically told Kale to come when I’d left him at Alex’s, but I assumed he would. Hoped, anyway. While the memory of last night’s kiss stayed fresh in my mind, I was nervous—scratch that, terrified—of the quickly approaching morning, and thought having Kale here would calm my nerves.

  Right as I was about to surrender to the pull of blackness, a movement by the window caught my attention. He said nothing as he swung from the branch outside and in through the open window, landing with a soft thud on my beige carpet. Our eyes met and a thrill raced up my spine. Tonight, he wasted no time, crossing the distance between us in two long strides, his mouth covering mine before I had time to blink.

  I’d worn a pair of flannel boxer shorts like every other night, but instead of my usual grungy tank top, I’d opted for a lacy black demi bra. There was no hesitation this time, no clinking teeth. There was no doubt in my mind that I’d been the guy’s first kiss, but holy hell did he have a knack for it.

  When we finally came up for air, he was smiling at me. It seemed to come easier to him now, smiling. It did funny things to my stomach. “Hi,” he said.

  I gave a soft laugh and snuggled close. “Hi back.” We stayed like that for a long time, Kale tracing a path from my chin, down to my waist. Sometimes with a single finger, sometimes the back of his hand.

  “Please don’t go to that place,” he said after a while had passed.

  “We went through this before. I can’t not go. It’s a done deal. It’s the only way now.”

  His face scrunched, lips twisting as if he’d just sucked on a lemon. “You have no idea what those people are capable of. You don’t know what they do to people like us.”

  People like us. Sixes. I’d accepted the things I could do, never truly knowing. Never really understanding. The last few years had been all about the next party. The next big thrill. Anything that might make me feel alive—because I’d felt empty inside. Hollow. The rest of my time was spent searching for new and amusing ways to piss off Dad. And all the while, there were others out there, people like me—like my mom—struggling for freedom.

  Alex was right. I could take Kale and run. But I couldn’t live with myself for very long. Not knowing what Denazen was doing. Not knowing my mom was in there somewhere, being held against her will.

  “Let’s not talk anymore about Denazen,” I took his hand. “Tell me about the dancing. How did you learn?”

  “Something Sue showed me once when I was younger, an old film on the television,” he said, voice thick and drowsy. “I was fascinated with it. The man, Fred, danced a lot. That’s how I learned.”

  Old movie? Fred? “Fred Astaire? Is that who you mean? You’re saying you learned to dance from watching a Fred Astaire movie?”

  “That sounds right. I watched him twirl that woman across the dance floor, holding her close. He told her he loved her.” He pulled away, looking down at me, those ice blue eyes intense. “I think I understand that now. I think I love you.”

  My stomach gave a tiny flutter. Alex. Alex had been the last person—the only person—to say he loved me. Hearing it from Kale, while sending tiny prickles of heat and excitement shooting through my veins, hurt. He couldn’t love me. Not really. He couldn’t know what love was. Not from watching a movie.

  “I know you might think that’s how you feel, but I’m not sure it’s possible. Not yet. It’s too soon. Plus, other than the fact that I’m the only girl you know, I’m also the only living thing you can touch. That’s gotta mess with your head. I know you feel something for me, but I don’t think you love me. Not really.”

  You’d expect a guy to get annoyed after a speech like that, but not Kale. He only shook his head, expression one of pure resolve. “I don’t understand how things work out here. I don’t understand people and why they do the things they do. I don’t even think I have a clear understanding of right and wrong, but I’m not completely in the dark. I can tell the difference. I like Alex, even though something inside”—he thumped his chest twice—“tells me there’s a reason I shouldn’t. But thinking of him doing what you’re about to do doesn’t fill me with fear. It doesn’t make me sick.”

  He leaned back, his lips twisting into a scowl. “When I think of you going to Denazen, my head feels funny. My chest hurts. It’s almost like I can’t breathe right. When I think of them doing to you any of the things they did to me, I want to scream.” He reached out, tilting my face up so I was looking at him. “I don’t feel that way about Alex. I never even felt that way about Sue. If I had the ability to touch anyone else in this world, I still don’t believe I’d want it to be anyone but you.”

  “Kale, I—”

  His hand clamped down over my mouth and his eyes went wide. Without a word, he darted off the bed and out the window in three fluid steps. Ninja. The guy was a ninja! I stumbled from the bed in time to see him race across the lawn, shirtless. Moments later, the doorknob jiggled, and Dad was yelling for me to let him in.

  My fingers grabbed the first shirt they touched—the one Kale had been wearing—and I stumbled to the door. “What the heck is all the—” Unceremoniously shoved aside, Dad and two suit-wearing Denazen monkeys pushed their way into my room. “Um, is there a reason you’re allowed to bring guys into my room, but I can’t?”

  “98 was spotted in the area a short time ago.” He turned to me. “Haven’t I told you not to lock that door?”

  I narrowed my eyes and put my hands on my hips. “And haven’t I told you I have no intention of leaving it open?” I gestured to the two men with him. “Seriously not going to change my policy if you’re planning on dragging strange men through the house in the middle of the night.”

  “No one’s been in here?” one of them asked.

  “Actually I’m hiding the football team in my closet, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to it.”

  The man watched me, wide-eyed.

  “As in, no, now get out of my room.”

  The other man stepped up to my closet and yanked open the door. Jesus, did he think I was serious? He bent forward, moving some of the hangers to the side in quick, jerky motions. Satisfied I was alone, they made their way to the door. Dad stopped at the edge and turned. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

  §

  Morning came way too fast. After I’d gotten rid of Dad and his flunkies, it had been impossible to get back to sleep. I kept waiting for Kale to come back, but he never did. Probably just as well. Knowing Dad, he’d probably had the house watched.

  I showered and dressed, dragging the comb through my hair as I made my way down the stairs. As usual, Dad sat at the table with his coffee and paper. I held my arms out and twirled. “Is this okay?” I had on my favorite black shark bite tank and a brand new pair of skinny jeans. On my arms were the black leather cuff bands I knew he hated.

  Dad saw me and stood, clearing his throat. “I’m afraid there’s been a slight change in today’s plans. I’m sure you’ll understand.”

  “Understand what?” I turned to the co
ffeepot and poured the rest of the off-limits liquid into my Mickey Mouse mug.

  “You’ll start at Denazen tomorrow. Today is going to be a bit hectic.”

  I flopped down into the seat he’d abandoned. “Oh? Why, wrestle in a new big bad?”

  “They caught 98 last night,” he said, watching me. “About a block away from here.”

  My mouth was dry. The Sahara had nothing on me at that moment. A test. Maybe it was a test. Maybe Dad wanted to see if what I’d said about wanting Kale to pay was true.

  I waited too long. His brow furrowed and the right corner of his lip did that twitching thing. The dead giveaway he knew something wasn’t right. “I would have thought you’d view this as good news, Deznee.”

  “No. I—” I shook my head. “It is good news. I can’t believe he got that close. A block away? Do you think he was coming here?”

  Dad folded the paper and set it down. “That would be my guess.”

  “I want to see him,” I said, standing. “I want to look the bastard in the face.”

  “That won’t be possible, Deznee. For everyone’s safety, he will be contained on level nine until we can decide what to do with him.”

  “What’s level nine?” I was proud. I managed to keep my voice even. For the most part.

  “Transition and termination.”

  16

  The stairwell of Alex’s apartment, if possible, smelled worse than it had the other day. Pinching my nose in a vain attempt to block out the stench, I dashed up the stairs two at a time. I came to the second story landing and tripped over a man slumped across the floor. “Crap, I’m sorry.” I bent down to check on him as he maneuvered onto his side and threw up, narrowly missing my shoes. “Okay then, enjoy the hangover.”

  Two minutes later I was at Alex’s door, pounding like a crazy person. I had no idea what his days consisted of now, but it was only just after ten in the morning. That was like six a.m. to the Alex I’d known a year ago. Hopefully, I’d caught him before he headed off to Roudey’s—or wherever the heck he spent his days now.

  The door jerked open and there stood Alex, shirtless in black sweat pants that sat low on his hips. Hair tousled and hazel eyes bleary, there was no doubt he’d just woken up. His face wrinkled into a mask of annoyance until he actually took a good look at who was standing in the doorway. “Dez?”

  I pushed him aside and stepped into the room. “Please tell me Kale’s here.”

  “Déjà vu, Dez. Didn’t we do this yesterday?” He wasn’t happy.

  “When was the last time you saw him?”

  He shrugged and went over to the couch, sinking down. “I was out most of the night at a party downtown. I asked him if he wanted to come, but he said no. Got home a little after four, was a little buzzed, and crashed. Didn’t look to see if he was on the couch. I agreed to let the dude crash here. I’m not playing babysitter.”

  “Dad said they got him. Late last night.”

  He gave a half shrug. “Those are the breaks, I guess.”

  I glared at him, fists tightening.

  “Look, I’m sorry they got him, I really am, but for the most part, it’s every man for himself when it comes to Denazen.” He shrugged again.

  I couldn’t believe that. “You have to help me.”

  “Help you do what?”

  I stared. “Get him out! They’ll kill him. Dad pretty much said so! Come with me. Go undercover. With the two of us there, we’ll find the information faster. Maybe we can get Kale and my mom out without the Reaper’s help.”

  He took a step forward, taking my hands in his. “I know you were kinda attached to the guy, but you need to let it go.”

  I ripped my hands from his and backed up a few steps. Could he really be that cold? “Were you always such an asshole? I mean in all that time we were together, how did I not notice what a selfish prick you were?”

  That hit a nerve. Alex covered the room in three steps and pushed me back against the door. “Denazen wiped out my entire family. They slaughtered my parents. My grandmother took me in, and when Denazen came for her, she gave her life so I could stay free.” A hand on each side of my shoulders, he gave a rough shake. “Why the hell would I willingly walk into that place?”

  “To help me,” I said quietly.

  For a minute, I thought he might scream. Face twisted and red, his lips curled into a silent snarl. After a moment though, he visibly relaxed. The pressure on my arms vanished, and he spun me toward the door. “Get the hell out.”

  §

  The car ride to Denazen the next morning went by in a flash. Somewhere close to midnight the night before, I’d started getting seriously cold feet. Kale was locked up somewhere, Alex wouldn’t help me, and Brandt, for whatever reason, wasn’t picking up his cell. When I’d come up with the idea to infiltrate Denazen and find Ginger the information she needed in return for her help, I’d been filled with excitement. This was the ultimate rush, with the added bonus of screwing over Dad in the process. But after trying—and failing—to sleep last night, my stomach remained a mess of knots. I couldn’t shake the look of raw anger in Alex’s eyes when he told me to leave. The icy tone of his voice told me I was truly alone in this. If something went wrong, there’d be no one to go to for help. Was I really up for this? Sure, I could be resourceful, but these were the big dogs. I couldn’t help feeling like I’d crawled way out of my league.

  Dad whipped the car into his private parking spot and opened the door without a word. I followed him into the building and to the white elevator doors. Once they closed behind us and the real set opened, he began to speak.

  “Before we proceed, I must make sure you understand. This is not a joke, and it’s not a game.”

  He stopped and it took me a moment to realize he was waiting for confirmation. I nodded.

  “Denazen takes its training very seriously. You will be asked to do things you don’t want to do. Things that will make you uncomfortable. All these things are for the greater good.”

  Greater good? Was he seriously trying to sell the nobility angle to me?

  “There is no option to walk away. Once you start forward, there is no going back. Do you understand me?”

  The elevator stopped, and I gave a nervous giggle as the doors opened. I guess that meant there’d be no going easy on the boss’ daughter. “So it’s a lot like the mob, then?”

  He wasn’t laughing.

  I cleared my throat. “I understand this won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.”

  Another nod and he stepped out of the elevator. I followed. Dad signed in as Hannah watched, eyes glued to his every movement like he was the second coming. After Dad was done, she pushed the clipboard to me. Today, I had to sign, too. Without a word to Hannah—or me—he started to the next set of elevators.

  “You will be spending the day on level six with our acquisitions interviewer, Mercy. She will interview you and explain things.”

  “Interview? I thought I already had the job?” Which is funny because I didn’t know exactly what job I had. Technically, I’d said I wanted to work for Denazen. I never said what I wanted to do for them. Or if there’d be money involved.

  “It’s not the kind of interview you’re thinking. All Denazen employees are interviewed on a monthly basis for the first year to ensure there are no—problems.”

  I didn’t ask what kind of problems he meant. My imagination ran wild and the knot in my stomach got a little larger.

  When the doors opened again, we were on level six. Off the elevator and into a room that looked a lot like the one on level five, neither of us said a word. A large marble island in the center manned by a tall black woman and a short white man was hard to miss.

  “Good morning, Nika.” Dad turned to the man. “Peter.” He nodded to me. “This is Deznee, a new acquisition. I need
for her to spend the day with Mercy.”

  Nika nodded, expression blank. She reached for the phone and turned away from us, speaking quietly into the receiver.

  Peter, on the other hand, wasn’t so dismissive. He stared, eyes wide and appraising, drifting between my chest and regions lower. Tongue darting in and out like a lizard, he licked his lips and leaned forward. “And what’s your gift, little cutie?”

  I gave him my most wicked smile. “Ass kicking. Want to see?”

  He straightened up and turned to Dad with a chuckle. “This one’s a ball of fire. Where’d you find her?”

  “This one is off limits, Peter. Deznee is my daughter.” Dad’s voice came out stony and cold, but not in the way a protective father’s should be. This was different. Oddly possessive. Like I was a shiny new toy he couldn’t wait to take out for a test drive. One he didn’t want to share.

  Peter’s face paled and his eyes became impossibly large. “Your daughter, sir?”

  “That’s what I said,” Dad snapped. Peter took the hint and quickly turned away, busying himself with a stack of papers on the other side of the counter.

  A few moments later, Nika hung up the phone and eyed me warily. “Mercy will be down shortly to collect her.” She had a thick accent that I couldn’t place. An odd mix between Australian and British. I wanted to ask where she was from, but I didn’t think that would portray the right image. Cool and detached. That was what I’d need to survive this place.

  I figured I should look at this like prison. Go in and project a badass attitude and maybe no one would screw with me. I glanced over to see Peter sneaking lecherous glances at me again when Dad wasn’t looking.

  Dad pulled me away from the desk and into the corner to wait for Mercy. “I have instructed Mercy to treat you no differently than any other acquisition. She will ask you the same questions and expect the same answers. You are to respond truthfully because she will know if you are lying.”

  He reached out, taking a firm grip on my upper arm. There’d be a bruise there tomorrow for sure. Out of habit, I almost jerked away, but thought twice. That probably wouldn’t be accepted. Not here. I wasn’t his daughter anymore—I couldn’t get away with shooting my mouth off or flipping him the bird. He looked down at me, eyes full of anticipation. I was finally in a place he could control. He was eating this up. I could see it in his eyes.