Alpha Read online

“Because I care.” How could he even ask me that? After everything we’d been through together. “It’s you and me. Us against the world. We survived that hell together, and I know we can survive this. I want to know what you went through. I want to help.”

  Another few minutes passed. The only sound was a faint buzzing coming from the clock on the nightstand between our two beds.

  “Sera, what do you think will happen? After we wrap this up?” I saw his dark outline shift. “We’re either going to find a way and live—or we won’t, and we’ll die. Say we live. What is it you think will happen after all that?”

  I didn’t quite understand what he was getting at, but the tone of his voice made me uneasy. “Like, where will we go?” I shrugged and smiled even though he probably couldn’t see me. “I dunno. Someplace nice. Someplace warm.”

  “So your vision of the future is us skipping off someplace sunny and warm?”

  “Well, I don’t love the idea of going someplace bleak and cold.” I tried to force the words out in a way that was light and airy but failed. Suddenly it felt like there was a pile of rocks sitting at the bottom of my stomach.

  “You really wanna know what they did to me?” He sighed. “They created something awful. They poked and prodded and did things to push me to the edge of sanity. They shredded my mind, then stitched it back together in the wrong order. They did things to my body that no human should ever experience, much less live through. It destroyed me, Sera. I’m unstable now. Hell, maybe I was never stable. But the things that go through my head at any given moment…the emotion…” He inhaled deeply. The sound brought goose bumps to the surface of my skin. “I will die trying to save you if that’s what it takes. You’re…important to me. But there’s no us. The moment I know that you’re safe, we’re going our separate ways.”

  “Going our sep—”

  “There is no us, Sera.”

  Chapter Ten

  G

  “That’s not what you want.” Her voice was so small, and she sounded so damn far away. Miles and miles. Possibly on another planet. Or, in our situation, another dimension. Even back in those damn cages, she hadn’t felt as out of reach as she did right now. I’d get used to it. I had to. “I don’t—won’t—believe for a second that you want to just drop me someplace and move on.”

  Damn right I didn’t, but that’s exactly what was going to happen. If I lived that long.

  You’re important to me…

  I rolled over so that my back was facing her bed. What a fucking joke. Sera wasn’t important to me. She was everything to me. The reason I was still alive. The reason I wanted to stay alive. And that was exactly the reason I had to get this done and get away from her. Every mood, every feeling I had was ten times more intense than it should have been. Things that would induce a slightly angry response from a normal person triggered an increased adrenaline rush that had me jacked on strength and sent my pain tolerance through the roof. It wasn’t just anger, either. Sometimes, when I looked at her, remembering all the nights I’d fantasized about kissing her, I had to physically distract myself because I was afraid of what I might do.

  “What I want doesn’t matter.” What I wanted hadn’t mattered long before Cora kidnapped me. I’d gotten my orders and carried them out, regardless of that little voice of reason, one that grew softer and softer with each mission, pleading for me to walk away. I was a soldier. Sometimes I couldn’t remember not being a soldier. “What matters is getting you far away from Cora and the things she did—and that includes me.”

  The springs on the other bed creaked, and Sera’s feet hit the floor with a thud. She didn’t bother with the light, instead stomping around my bed in the dark and coming to stand over me. “Get up,” she demanded.

  And I did—just another reason I had to get away from this girl. Anything she asked for, anything she wanted, I would bend over backward to give her. I was afraid that might include the worst possible thing for her—me. It was funny when you thought about it. She didn’t remember our early interactions—but I did. I’d been horrible to her.

  …

  “Please…why won’t you talk to me?”

  Her babbling was a constant echo in my ears. She’d been chattering nonstop since I’d arrived. It was close to driving me insane. I’d been here for a week now…at least that was my calculation. It was hard to tell. I hadn’t left the cell they’d dumped me in, and there were no windows or doors to look through.

  “Just a name. Tell me your name. Please?”

  “Do you ever shut up?” I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “Oh my God. Hi! Hello.” God. She sounded so damn hopeful. What the hell did she think a conversation would do? “A guy. You’re a guy.”

  “Give the lady a cracker. She knows I’m male by the sound of my voice.”

  “Do you know why we’re here? Who took us?”

  “What I know is that you’re giving me a damn headache. Please. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”

  “My name is—”

  “I don’t care what your name is,” I roared. “I don’t care where you’re from, what your hobbies are, or why the hell you’re here. If they’re going to kill me, I’d just like a little bit of peace and quiet first. Okay?”

  …

  “Yes?” She was in front of me. I kept my head down.

  “Look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me other than concern.”

  I lifted my gaze to meet hers but said nothing. I had never lied to Sera. I’d chosen not to answer her questions on occasion, but I had never told her an outright lie. Now would have been a good time to start…but I just couldn’t do it.

  Her lip twitched, a small flinch of satisfaction, and I knew my silence had the opposite effect I’d hoped for. “Kiss me.”

  I almost fell over. “What?”

  “You heard me.” She came a single step closer. There was almost no space between us now. “You asked me once if I remembered being kissed.”

  I remembered the conversation well. It’d been a few months ago…

  …

  It had to be close to dawn by now, and we were both hungry and exhausted. Cora would be back soon. She’d come with a small team to bring me upstairs. A new day of horrors. Sera had been up with me all night.

  “What about cheeseburgers?” She laughed. It was a sound that used to grate against my nerves. Now? I lived for it. My estimation was that it’d been four months since I’d gotten here. Sera had worn me down, talking and talking until I couldn’t ignore her anymore. Until I hadn’t wanted to… “Do you remember what they taste like?”

  “Cheeseburger…” I repeated. “Not sure we had that on my world. Or, if we did, I don’t remember it.”

  She gasped. “No cheeseburgers? That itself is a crime. Can’t remember what the inside of my bedroom looked like, but cheeseburgers? Those I remember.”

  “My turn.” I shifted so that my back was against the wall of her cell. “Ever been bitten by a dog?”

  “Instinct is to say no.”

  “Why?”

  “I think I like dogs,” she said. “Not sure if I had one, but I think I like ’em.”

  “I had one,” I said before I could stop myself. “I, uh, it’s weird. I remember this kind of black and white dog. Long hair. Odd-eyed.”

  “Name?”

  Jax. “Wish I could remember.”

  “Funny how it works.”

  “It?” I knew exactly what she was talking about.

  “The memory loss. It’s like everything we were is washed away. Like, bleached from existence, but there are these stubborn stains, these moments, that just won’t fade completely.”

  “What about your first kiss? You remember it?” I asked.

  She was quiet for a few moments. “Nothing comes to mind. Maybe I haven’t had it yet.”

  “Maybe,” I agreed.

  “Or maybe I did, and I just can’t remember—which is kind of cool.”

  “How is that cool?”

  She lau
ghed. “Well, that first kiss is supposed to be something special, right? From where I’m standing, I’m lucky. I get to have my first kiss all over again once I get out of here.”

  My throat was dry, and the dank cell fell away. I found myself drowning in the fantasy of it. Her lips were probably soft as silk. I imagined them tasting like something exotic. Something I’d never tasted before. Something that once sampled, I’d never be able to live without. The thought was intoxicating, while at the same time, terrifying. “When we bust out of here, I’ll gladly step up and do the honors.”

  …

  “So?”

  I snapped myself out of it. “So, what?” Obviously, she hadn’t heard a damn thing I’d said. Maybe I should tell her the truth. Tell her that I’d been a monster before Cora pulled my nearly dead carcass off the battlefield. Maybe I should remind her how truly horrible I’d been to her when I’d first arrived. Point out all the cruel things I’d said during those long hours as her memory ebbed. “You think you feel something for me? You don’t. If you could rem—”

  “Kiss me.”

  The rest of the sentence stayed lodged in my throat, choking back the air and leaving me hollow. Her demand equally horrified and thrilled me. I’d thought about kissing this girl for a long time now. Here she was, finally standing in front of me and demanding it, and I was backtracking? What the fuck was wrong with me?

  You’re a monster, that’s what’s wrong with you…

  I was trying to do the right thing. Sera had seen enough darkness—both in Cora’s basement and before it. Morals weren’t a strong suit in my old life, but because of her, I was determined to fix that.

  I growled low in my throat and took a step away from her. “Not going there, Sera. I meant what I said. We’re going to do what we need to in order to get Cora to fix that thing in your head, and then I’m going to take you someplace safe.” I wouldn’t bring her home. Like me, the place she’d come from hadn’t been any better than the place she’d ended up. No. I’d see her off to someplace better. Maybe Kori’s world. She’d spoken of it often. Green trees, mostly clean air. Sera could make a life for herself there. A life that didn’t include me.

  “Fine,” she said. I think she folded her arms, too. I was trying not to look at her. “But before you do, kiss me.” She closed the minute distance between us, her small body dangerously close to mine. To the hard lines and ugly scars I’d accumulated. Some had been there when I’d woken up in that cell. Souvenirs from the life I wished I could forget. Others, Cora had been kind enough to supply me with. “I’ve seen you, G. You’re not afraid of anything. So what’s the big deal? Just get it over with and kiss—”

  The thundering of my pulse drowned out everything else. The buzz of the clock, her voice, my logic… I lost my shit. I grabbed her face and mashed my lips to hers, moving them furiously, greedily, like she was the meal I’d been deprived of from the moment I’d entered this world. Ravenous, I clutched her face, the tips of my fingers threading through satiny strands of hair. It was heaven—and it was hell.

  It wasn’t enough.

  A soft noise of approval escaped her lips and almost sent me through the roof. I was moving before I even realized it, backing her across the room and up against the wall. When we’d gone as far as we could, I kissed her harder, drawing her bottom lip into my mouth and grazing it with my teeth.

  She gasped, her fingers digging through my jeans and into the skin of my hips. In the back of my mind I hated the idea of her hands on me. Those fingers should never touch something so dark and ugly. The me that Cora had all but drowned knew I should pull away and stop this, but the me she created, the one born from endless torture and countless rounds of experimental drugs, chased the sensations. He reveled in the tightness down south and was almost salivating over the soft perfection nearly writhing beneath his touch.

  She pulled away and sucked in a breath. I took the opportunity to drag my lips across her cheek and down the right side of her neck. She shivered, fingers curling into the thin material of my shirt. “That was”—another gasp as I tugged aside the collar of her shirt and grazed her skin—“some kiss.”

  “Yeah? I’m not finished.”

  The air rushed from my lungs as something ignited, the sudden searing pain in my chest quickly changing into an all-out explosion. I stumbled away from Sera and collapsed.

  “G?” She fell forward and hit the carpet in front of me. I heard her, but my vision grew hazy. All I could make out was a vague, watery shape. “G, what’s wrong?”

  “I—” I struggled to pull the air in and push it out. Each inhalation burned hotter than the one before it. It was the pod, the one Dylan set off. Had to be. More of the poison must be leaking. “I’m okay. I just need to—”

  There were several shouts outside, followed quickly by what I could only describe as pandemonium, a collection of panicked voices and terrified cries. Sera hesitated for a moment before hauling herself off the floor and making her way toward the door. As she opened it, I grabbed the edge of the comforter and stood. There was some swaying and a fair amount of nausea, but I managed not to fall on my ass again—which was a good thing. The situation outside our room had people in a panic.

  “What the hell is going on?” She stepped aside so I could see into the hallway. It was utter fucking chaos. People were darting back and forth, screaming, crying, and calling for loved ones. Sera ventured out a few steps, and I turned toward the window. That’s when I understood what the panic was about. There was a colossal wave of water heading straight for us.

  “Shit!” With a clumsy lurch, I propelled myself forward, catching Sera’s arm as I flew out the door.

  “What—”

  “Hurry!” I dragged her past the elevator and barreled through the door marked Stairs. My grip on her hand was like steel, and she stumbled several times, but I didn’t slow down. There was no time.

  “What am I missing?” She dug her heels in and grabbed the banister with her free hand. Not expecting the sudden resistance, her hand was pulled from mine. “Why are we—”

  The entire building shuddered and shook, sending us both off balance. Sera caught herself before collapsing, while I latched on to the railing with both hands. The sound of breaking glass was just slightly fainter than the screams of those still on the lower floors. Screams that were cut morbidly short.

  “Oh my God.” Sera’s face paled as the sound of rushing water filled the stairwell below us. She peered over the edge as I did the same. As far down as I could see, water was flowing in—and it was rising. Fast.

  “Move!” I recaptured her hand and dragged her upward. By the time we reached the top, we were both winded and the water was nipping at our heels. I jabbed a finger at the door a few feet away, the one marked Roof. “Through there. Hurry!”

  We burst through and both stopped, frozen in our tracks. The colossal wave that hit the hotel moments ago wasn’t alone. Another headed straight for us. It wasn’t quite as high as the hotel, but that didn’t make it any less intimidating. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Tidal wave, tsunami—whatever it is, we’re in the wrong dimension at the wrong time.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her close, then braced myself against where the building jutted out. “Hold on tight.”

  The second wave hit harder than the first, shattering any remaining glass and surely wiping out anyone else still inside the hotel. The water leaked from beneath the door now, streams of it sliding across the rooftop and spilling over the edge.

  “How long?” She clutched my waist tight and nodded to my arm. “How long until we can skip?”

  “Not sure.” I maneuvered so that I was still holding on to Sera yet was able to awkwardly jab at my forearm. I woke the chip and tried taking us to a random PATH line. Nothing happened. “I have no idea what time it is—but it should be soon.”

  The next wave reached us and collided with the building. The entire thing shuddered and groaned, but thankfully it held together. The wall of water
exploded on impact, sending spouts like rockets in every direction. They cascaded outward and upward and overflowed across the edge of the roof.

  It all happened in an instant. A mini wave crashed over the side of the building, barreling along the rooftop. It wasn’t big. Two or three feet at best. But it was enough because it struck at the same moment as another jolt of pain from the poison caused me to double over. Sera was ripped from my grasp and dragged along with it.

  “No!” I let go of the building and made a swipe for her. It took three tries and a shitload of slipping as my feet tried to find traction on the slippery surface, but I managed to grab her hand—only to lose it again.

  The force of the water took her feet right out from under her and carried her beyond my reach. Three ticks later and she’d reached the edge. “I can’t—there’s nothing to—”

  Adrenaline surged. It overrode the still-there pain in my chest and cranked up my senses to eleven. My legs pumped faster, and my breathing quickened as water raged all around. I woke the chip as I ran, saying a silent prayer that the timer had hit zero. I reached Sera as another wave crashed into the building. The overflow from this one was more significant. When it made its way across the roof, the force of it took my legs out from under me and knocked the air from my lungs. I slid on the tarred surface, fingers scraping as I went for something—anything—to grab.

  The last thing I heard as the current carried us both over the edge was Sera’s scream.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sera

  I was on the roof, and then I was weightless. From the corner of my eye, as I went over, I saw G being carried along as well. I saw his head smash against the brick as he slipped across the side, his body limp and falling like a stone. Toward me, at me—then past me.

  He hit the water first, though, it wasn’t like there was far to fall. The entire city of Wells was submerged, only a few of the tallest buildings now poking morbidly out from the surface of the raging flood.

  The air rushed from my lungs on impact. Still, the only thing on my mind was G. I forced my eyes open, the water stinging, and flailed frantically to break the surface. I did. I sucked in a mouthful of air just before being pulled back beneath the swell. In my attempts to break the surface again, something knocked my leg.